Check your privilege

Today I helped pass the time while parenting the heck out of my toddler by texting with my oldest friend Laura, a librarian of great renown living in deep in a red state.  We discussed how depressing and exhausting the news (and social media, and human interactions and....) can be right now, and how we wanted a good alternative thing to do.  What to listen to while doing the dishes or going for a walk?  We started recommending podcasts to one another and then she made the fatal error of posting a request for ideas on Facebook.  Classic mistake!  She had the gall to specify that she wanted podcasts that were not political.

Immediately her brother-in-law made an outraged comment about her privilege and burying her head in the sand but SOME people (him) weren't so lucky.  That's right, folks! I mean yes, I wrote a letter to both of my senators and my congressional representative today expressing outrage over Trump's appointment of chief strategist.  Yes, Laura made a donation to Planned Parenthood this week.  But unless every single thing you consume or do is actively and constantly political, you're willfully disengaged from current events.  So shame on you, people reading my blog with it's fluffy nonsense.  You are morally bankrupt for seeking a non-political interaction with another human being.

Laura and I were suitably chastened.  My neighbor was cleaning the leaves out of his gutter and I realized I had been absentmindedly watching him for fifteen seconds or more without making any political statement whatsoever, so I screamed "Smash the Patriarchy!"  He couldn't hear me though because we have excellent insulation.  When he had the gall to use a hose to swoosh leaves off his roof I put up a giant sign chastising his phallo-centric display of water pressure.

In the course of our discussion, Laura and I found ourselves wondering whether her brother-in-law reads only political books, or if you are sufficiently able to check your privilege everything becomes a form of political engagement.  I promised her I would do some research and return and report.  The following books look promising.

The Highland Rose: Lusty Forbidden Erotic Historical Scottish Taboo Tartan BDSM Romance
by Bonnie Brand (I am not making that title up) (note: Bold phrases original to the blurb)
When Rosa, the Laird's young flame-haired herbalist, discovers an abandoned cottage on one of her highland excursions, she rests there overnight to avoid contact with wolves and other wild creatures.

When she wakes the next morning, strapped to the bed, she discovers a different kind of wild creature: Hamish, a proud, passionate highlander.  He's not happy that she's stolen his bed, and soon, she's going to want to pay the price for her crime, hard and without protection.

Soon, h'ell make her his woman and let her in on a big, dark secret.

Analysis:
This is clearly a Republican think piece.  Unsure how you can tell at a glance? She's sheltering from WOLVES.  Wolves are dangerous predators that pose a threat to ranch animals.  If this were a liberal book she'd probably be cavorting with them making friendship bracelets or something. So.  What conservative messages will you find in this book?

1) Wolves are dangerous predators.
2) No more free handouts for layabouts.  Someone worked hard to earn that bed, you can't just take it because you didn't prepare yourself.  Welfare is a trap for everyone -- it hurts those who earned their highland huts, and it also traps flame-haired herbalists in a cycle of endless taking.
3) Tough on crime.  You heard the man. Hard and without protection.   Only a filthy liberal would read that as sexual innuendo.
4) The big dark secret is obviously the bloated state and corruption of the federal government.  Once she realizes the need for fiscal responsibility and free enterprise she'll get a real job instead of being an "herbalist" -- yeah, we know what kind of herb, Rosa.

Loved by the Dragon by Vivienne Savage (definitely not her real name)

Chloe Ellis' decision to celebrate the end of a turbulent relationship sends her off for a weekend of hiking and bonding with Mother Nature.  When a rainstorm strikes during a spontaneous mountain climb, she has no choice bet to seek shelter -- and become hopelessly lost within a dank and dismal cave system.  There's one more problem: her golden-eyed, incredibly sexy rescuer isn't the average hiker.  He's also a dragon.
Chloe's life takes another dramatic turn that brings her and her dragon to her home in Houston, Texas From there, her future with Saul becomes dicey as shadowy forces in the draconic world object to their new union.  When Marceline Vargas agrees to join her friend Chloe for an island vacation in Mexico, she's ready for fun in the sun and an escape from her hectic career.  After crossing paths with the resort's owner, she soon discovers the billionaire dragon shifter is a charismatic enigma -- sexist but kind-hearted, intimidating yet generous.  Can his chauvinistic patterns be tamed? Marcy intends to find out.

Analysis:
Definitely liberal reading material.  Worn out by being represented in Congress by the opposition? Head to nature to commune. While nature is portrayed as maternal, eternal and a source of refreshment, the masculinized patriarchal caves are a "dank dismal system."  Sometimes you encounter a guy out of context and he seems really appealing.  Bring him back to Texas and you realize he's got a Biblical name and your future is "dicey" and "shadowy."

The story arc finally becomes clear with the explicitly stated question "Can chauvinistic patterns be tamed?" Take a hint Marcy.  "Kind and generous" doesn't wipe out "sexist and intimidating."  Chloe and Marcy realize the only way to live free of patriarchal relationship patterns is to join an all-female commune in Northern California.  The lizard men return to Congress.



Well I for one rest easy tonight, knowing I have not engaged in a single non-political activity all day, nor have I encouraged others to do so.  You're welcome.