The key to feeding a toddler, or at least my toddler, is to not look like you're TRYING to feed him. This is fatal. I put out a bowl of his favorite cereal dotted with blueberries. He picked out the blueberries and gladly ate them. After all, they are not in season and cost something exorbitant, so it makes sense that they're on his short list of approved breakfast foods. The cereal he rejected and instead elected to come over a and scream at me while I ate. I offered him a single blueberry. He screamed at me and ran off, sobbing. I finished my breakfast.
After having eaten, I tried a few other tactics to feed the little guy. I tried pouring dry cereal directly on the table, as he was happy to eat a very stale piece of bread on the floor earlier. Nothing doing. More screams. I held up an orange and looked inquisitive. He made a gesture (from his supine position of mourning on the floor) that clearly indicated that, if that orange came anywhere near him, he would bat it away with all his force. I held up a banana. More wailing, but with a slight hesitation. I peeled the banana and set it on the table, and sat him down. Screams as he writhed away from it in despair.
So I gave up. I left the banana on the table and went and fooled around on my phone on a chair. Soon a snot encrusted one year old appeared, clutching mushy banana and eating.
"Go to the table Freddy."
"NOH!"
"Sit at the table buddy."
"NOH!"
"Go to the table"
"Grrrrrrrrrr"
I picked him up and placed him in his chair.
More wailing.
Meanwhile, the preschooler is adamantly refusing to get out of bed or leave his room. I don't really mind this, except I fully intend to shut him in there for several hours this afternoon for quiet time, and so I feel slightly guilty that he is choosing to spend his morning there.
What do SAHMs do all day? Fight pointless battles for the good of the children while they strive to harm themselves. It's exhausting.
